Another Sad Goodbye.....

My bilA had been unwell for some time and from the start of this year he had been in and out of hospital and when home living downstairs only with carers coming in each day. Sadly last week he suffered a second heart attack and never recovered. His funeral was yesterday.

He loved his football and since his wife/my sister died often watched nothing else for days. The joys of sky tv and multiple sports channels ☺ His loyalty to Spurs was famous with all that knew him. He had been moaning recently about how badly they had been playing which is why on Wednesday night we knew he'd be looking down and cheering as his team won their semi-final game against Ajax in the Champions League, and amazingly the final will be played on bilA's birthday!

So it was no surprise when his three children and his sister all wore Tottenham Hotspur kit tops to his funeral.

Jewish funeral services, for me, are tedious with lots of prayer readings straight from the book, some in Hebrew and some in English, some spoken and some sung. bilA was far more than a regular at the synagogue, he attended everything, Sabbaths, holy days, social events, taught children at the Hebrew classes and did guided tours and talks to local children on school's visits as well as holding the post of warden for many years. So the Rabbi and congregation members were all good friends and this helped make it a lot more personal especially when the Rabbi did her own personal reading.

His son did a reading too, which was a perfect balance of emotional and humorous and although he was visibly heartbroken he'd written and delivered his final tribute beautifully.

We left the cemetry and drove to his house, odd being there without him, still feels odd after nearly seven years my sisterM not beginning there. M&A had bought that house when they got married 51 years ago, and we have had so many shared memories there, so it's really sad to think that it will be cleared and sold and we may never set foot inside it again.

They had provided so much food, determined not to run short like they'd done once before. There were family and friends and ex spouses and previously estranged family members who were all getting on together and supporting each other. Great to see and proof how loved bilA had been.

Evening prayers when the Rabbi returned at 8pm and the lounge filled again with synagogue members. Most of them left soon after the service ended. We left soon after too and was loaded up with trays of food to take home along with some paperwork that I need to deal with and my paintings of York I'd done as a gift for M&A as York was one of their favourite places. These had been on their wall at the top of the stairs since 1993.

Sympathies and celebrations.....

8th August 2012 - Was my sisterM's funeral. So very sad, however, so very calm at the same time. She had organised it all herself. As we are Jewish our funerals need to happen as soon as possible so we were relieved that it could happen just 60 hours after she died. The retired Rabbi that she'd already asked was available and her plot was booked in the very newly consecrated woodland area. SisterM had even written her own eulogy outlining how grateful and honoured she had felt for the life she had lived and she had included thank-yous and humour!  Love you sis, really miss you!
BilA had said there would only be the one night shiver (mourning and prayers) and he insisted that hubby and I together with sisterS and bilK were to go on holiday as booked and not cancel or even postpone flights. With heavy hearts we said our goodbyes and got home just before 11pm :o(

9th - 16th August 2012 - Portugal holiday
2am the alarm went off and although hubby and I got up, ready and out I'm sure it was all done in my sleep!  We met sisterS and bilK at the Gatwick check-in desk at 4am and our holiday started.

At the end of the holiday we all agreed it had been brilliant and we must holiday together again......Sorry I jumped right to the end without saying that transport wise it was easy getting there, a bit of a delay on the flight home, we used the local tourist train

and hired a car for three days (phew so grateful for the air-con). Temperatures were around 30-36C and reached 38C a few times so all air-con gratefully received!

Our spacious self catering apartments were in the Vila Petra hotel in Albufeira and we took full advantage of the facilities and restaurants and bars there as well as finding great places to eat on The Strip including the very traditional Cataplana, twice in fact, I shared a chicken one with sisterS and a seafood one with bilK, on different days of course as they are very filling and very yummy! BilK with his assistant sisterS on toast and tea, cooked us breakfast twice too in their apartment and afternoon tea and cake was usually in ours. Actually this started because I had a birthday and was totally surprised by a fabulous celebration cake being presented to me courtesy of the hotel,  how lovely eh? So started our tea and cake break :o)

We got out and about every day bar lazy Sunday. We did a lot of walking and the route to the nearest beach was known locally as "cardiac hill" which thankfully we all managed (slowly). We visited Portimao and ate grilled sardines on the harbour overlooking the marina. We had a very long walk round the fort at Segras which was really interesting but would have been better for me if there had been a few shady places. Within the fort there seemed to be a special art exhibition and dotted around were a collection of very large sculptures of very curvy and very colourfully shiny nude women reclining on plinths, no we didn't believe what we were seeing either!

Other places included Lagos (pronounced Lahgosh apparently) and Vilamoura and we all really liked the Old Town Albufeira.

We found a lot to laugh about. Not totally sure how it started but the main joke was ice-cream being called "licky-licky" and our requests for licky-licky were frequent then it progressed to a difficulty becoming "tricky-tricky", fingers "sticky-sticky", cameras "clicky-clicky" ......you get the gist?

So we all had a great time but most importantly of all was having plenty of time to talk about sisterM and how we're feeling without having to put on a brave face for anyone. It was a good place to heal a little and return stronger to help each other heal too.
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Lost and found....

I'm the middle child of five, four sisters and one brother.
Yesterday 5th August 2012 at 10:30pm I lost my big SisterM. Not misplaced of course but she lost her two year battle with ovarian cancer.  She had been the most determined fighter I'd ever known. I don't need to go into the details of the various treatments, we all know just how horrid they are, but she rarely complained. So many hospital visits, expensive car parking or even more expensive taxis when she didn't feel well enough to drive. When they stopped the chemo and her hair grew back she had to donate her costly wig and hats to other cancer patients. Calmly researching her possible future needs like a wheelchair and stairlift and accepting each new challenge with such a positive attitude that many said she was an inspiration to others, but we knew she was mainly trying to make this horrid situation easier for her husband, three children, 10 grandchildren, four siblings and our families and everyone else she had contact with. She had been a very respected magistrate for nearly two decades and having to give that up just a few months ago was harder for her than almost anything else.

As my big sister things weren't always plain sailing of course, her diplomatic side meant we all discussed various things but she was only truly happy when we ultimately did it her way! We were possibly the closest siblings out of the five of us, she was the most supportive when I was being rebellious and hubby and I often had holidays with her and her hubby with our children when they were young and just as four adults when our families were independent,  even this year we had our great trip to Florida and our day trip to Hever Castle was just weeks ago.

The end was quite sudden really, she had fought so hard and finally she lost the energy to fight. She was in the hospice, she didn't want to die at home, she had her reasons and organized everything including her funeral preferences. The funeral is the day after tomorrow, Wednesday and the retired Rabbi she specifically asked to conduct the service came to see us today and he was not surprised when we handed him the sealed envelope containing the eulogy SisterM had written herself and none of us have seen....she has to have the last word!

Of course she's not lost at all, you'll find SisterM in our hearts!
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Castles, Tudors, friends and relations....

Make a coffee first this is a long one  :o)


Friday 6th - Hubby and I had planned a day out with SisterM and her hubby. Sadly SisterM's cancer is progressing and she is now feeling a bit too weak in the legs for much walking around so we borrowed a wheelchair from our local Community Charity Shop. The weather was not good so there was no rush but hubby had assured me it was going to clear later and if we headed into Kent we had a better chance of staying shower free, so that's what we did, choosing Hever Castle as our destination. Still raining when we got there so had a lovely pub lunch first then as forecast the sun came out, the puddles dried and we had a really lovely afternoon in the castle and the gardens and even sat outside for afternoon tea. Got them home and didn't even stay for a cuppa as Friday evening traffic is always terrible coming east. We all really enjoyed the day.

Saturday 7th - When FriendsL&K wanted to arrange a day to meet up I told them of our plans to visit Kentwell Hall for the Tudor re-enactment and they jumped at the chance to join us there. We picked up M and D at 10am then met our friends in the carpark at Kentwell at 11am. Hubby changed up some money to Tudor groats and pennies so we could buy things inside then we walked through the time tunnel into 1556. I've been there a few times now and still totally amazed at being immersed in living history with every resident  having so much knowledge to pass on, we talked at length to the washer women and the alchemists and the woodchoper and watched the players rehearse which was so funny. We stopped in the alehouse so the men could have some ale and of the games drawn on the table I played Nine Men's Morris and Horseshoe losing both games to a Tudor maid expert. We ate in the modern cafe but sampled Tudor marshpane, biscots, sweetmeats and men-of-ginger. O had been a Tudor all week but had missed his dad so changed back to modern clothes to be with his dad and come home with us, this also meant that Daughter, R and E could really enjoy the last night party and pack up their camper without the help of a 3 year old. It was so hard to be there and not hug my daughter and grandchildren as they had to stay in character which they all did really well. Again another dry day for us thankfully. The day ended with the fair which was brilliant. D won a candle on the hoopla stall, lots of Tudor children took part in the play dressing up as chickens (ours included). There was wrestling for the boys and 'arse pushing' for the maids and musicians and dancers too (including daughter) while the gentry walked around admiring the show.
When a very tired O flopped on granddad's shoulder we decided it was time to leave. We dropped off M, D and O at their house and went home to meet again with FriendsL&K who were staying the night. After a very much needed cup of tea we relaxed a bit then out to the pub for dinner. Late(ish) to bed and so lovely to have plenty of time for a good catch-up chat.

Sunday 8th - Up for breakfast but no-one was rushing although they had to get away before lunchtime. Very soon after Hubby's brother M and his partnerJ arrived bringing back hubby's laptop that they had borrowed and telling us all about their planned house move. Out to the pub for Sunday lunch which was yummy and all the nicer when bilM paid the whole bill, thank you :o)
They left quite early and hubby didn't have bowling for a change on a Sunday which was lucky as Daughter turned up about 8pm still costumed and with the girls all looking really tired, wanting help with the trailer camper to leave here before they could head home.

Monday 9th - Daughter arrived with the children to open up the camper and clean it and dry it out and to scrub all the children and their very muddy Tudor shoes. Unfortunately she is now full of cold and aches and pains and is very tired, not surprising after working hard all week and being out and camping in some horrid weather for 9 days. Slow going but all achieved. I fed them all both lunch (bacon butties) and dinner (lasagne)...definitely not potage!
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Lifeguards then kirtles...

I have to say how proud I am of our very clever and dedicated Daughter, for someone who always disliked sewing she has made herself and three children authentic Tudor clothing, all hand stitched, which includes 2 shifts each, kirtles for mother and daughters, cote for a boy, jackets, detachable sleeves, under kirtles, aprons, head rails, coifs, biggins and hats plus bags and pockets and pouches. She has also purchased Tudor shoes and hose/stockings, bowls, spoons and cups that they have to carry around with them and bought herself a recorder suitable for that era as she is spending the week as a 'player'. They have also had to attend at least 3 open days and learn 'Tudor Speak'......and then finally last Friday evening they took up residence at Kentwell Hall to be Tudors for 9 days (camping in the grounds)!

Of course with the children always being so busy with their extra activities, there had to be a clash and it was last weekend for E. While her family drove off to the year 1556, E had to stay very firmly in 2012 with us as she had a special day of her own on Sunday. Before then she did the usual trampoline sessions on Friday night and Saturday lunchtime then on Sunday as part of the County Music School she took part in a whole music day held at the Suffolk Show Ground / Trinity Park. She had to arrive at 9am for rehearsals then put on a concert at 10:30am involving 5 different county bands, which hubby and I had tickets for and enjoyed. Then it was a picnic lunch and BBQ and then hubby and I left and E stayed.

We returned about 5:30pm for the concert that was starting at 6pm and got really good seats. We then heard how about 20 members of the Band of the Lifeguards of the Royal Army had been there rehearsing with our young musicians all afternoon and taught them 4 new pieces of music. The concert included the Lifeguard's conductors and trumpeters and band members all in their very ornate (and warm) uniforms, together with more than 200 of our County music musicians (that included E on percussion) and they all played exceptionally well. It was brilliant. E was exhausted but euphoric :o)

Add to that my rushing off to spend Friday evening with SisterM and having to shop on Saturday with E for some suitable concert shoes and then getting up really early Monday morning to help E into her Tudor clothing and get her to Kentwell Hall at 8am to join up with mum and siblings. I didn't / couldn't do much else for the rest of Monday!
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Helpful distractions....

Woke this morning quite worried about SisterM who had been taken into hospital yesterday and kept in overnight, thankfully by early afternoon she had text me to say treatment and scan done and she was going home. So I let my siblings know.

Meanwhile Daugter came over with the children and the day was taken up with car washing (Granddad with R and O), trousers making (E with help from me and Daughter), checking out an internet story (me and R), crochet (E), craft shopping (me, Granddad, R and O), lunch (all of us), collecting frog spawn in a bucket to watch (me, Granddad, R and O), bathing (R), hair combing through and drying (Daughter for R), afternoon tea with muffins (made by Daughter yummy), badminton in the garden (Granddad with all children at various times), playing mario with O (Granddad - while Daughter took R and E to choir)........so a busy day had by all.

This evening I'm off to my art group but mentioned that I really don't know what to paint as I'd finished my last projects. So R suggested....
* Toast with butter melting over the edge
* Pancakes with syrup on
* A French worm wearing an onion string around it's neck
* A Penguin wearing dungarees and a straw hat
* Cowboy panda
* Hippy blackbird with dreadlocks
E said to keep the perspective of lying down toast the finished picture should remain lying down!!!
This made for a very funny lunchtime with lots of laughing. The only problem is I think R would really like it if I did produce these pictures, I wish I was a good enough artist to manage it.
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Florida holiday - February 2012....

Another holiday with Hubby, SisterM and bilA.
19 Feb off to Orlando in Florida for 10 days with a night flight on 29 Feb getting us home mid morning on the 1 March.

The journeys to and fro were thankfully uneventful, just the usual queueing and hanging around, but nothing really to report on. Collecting the hire car took time but was easy too. We had talked to lots of people before hand and been told which were the best diners to go to for a good breakfast and some venues we should not miss and the provided sat.nav. managed with everything Hubby put into it, including getting us to the place we collected the villa key from and then onto the villa. Hubby did all the driving for the whole holiday, of course.

By total coincidence our Canadian cousin F and her daughter M were going to be in Florida at the same time as us so we arranged to meet up with them, but as they were still over 3 hours drive away we suggested they sleep over so we had a full day with them which was lovely.

The villa was lovely and four bedrooms instead of the three that SisterM had booked, so plenty of room. Two double bedrooms both with en-suite so no arguments there, and the other two twin bedded rooms shared a bathroom so really easy when F&M stayed.

We used diners Bob Evans, Dennys, iHop as on our recommended list, also we could tell the very popular ones in the evening as they had huge crowds outside with people holding bleepers and having a 60-90minute wait.....we couldn't be bothered with that, so we mainly ate our 'dinner of the day' in the theme parks but not the fast food as each one had choices of 'nice' restaurants too, then snacked in the villa at night. The night F&M stayed we had Chinese takeaway delivered, which meant lots of chatting time :o)  Unfortunately SisterM had a rotten 'holiday' tummy day and was very tired so didn't enjoy their visit as much which was a shame. 

First theme park we did was Magic Kingdom, which we all were very disappointed with. It was very scruffy looking, seemed like all shops and fast food but very few rides and only geared to the very young, but no magic, no Disney characters walking around........we certainly wondered what we had let ourselves in for with this sort of holiday!!!

But very glad to report EVERYWHERE ELSE was so much better. We did NASA and was lucky enough to be there when they launched a rocket, we went to SeaWorld and were given an upgraded ticket to go back a second time for free which we did, Hollywood World was great fun too and Epcot was brilliant. On our last day on the way to the airport we also had an hour long Airboat ride spotting alligators in the reed beds of Boggy Creek then we listened to a short talk and got to hold a small alligator (with his mouth taped shut of course).

We got totally rained on twice and even bought those Mickey Mouse plastic ponchos the second time. M&A decided they needed two rest days, Thursday and Sunday so they could recharge their personal energy. Hubby and I left them to it on Sunday and headed out shopping, didn't buy lots but interesting to see the different goods and prices.

This was a very special holiday as my big sister has terminal cancer and we never thought she would be able to go on this sort of holiday, her travel insurance cost more than the holiday, so we made the most of it all and even cuddled Winnie the Pooh and Shamu the Whale posing for photos enjoying the silly-ness of it all.

Got home lunch time Thursday and so far Clive and I don't seem to be suffering jet lag, fingers crossed eh?
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Instant decision...

Life went a bit manic here on Thursday....9:30am got a call from SisterM "I'm on my mobile so can't chat, we want to book a holiday and thinking of Florida, if you both come too we can get a package deal of flydrive with villa, what do you think?" I said I'd check with Hubby when he got home and email our free dates, she hung up!!!!!! Daughter arrived (full of cold) with the children, left E and O and went off with R shopping - R was running her own cafe here for lunch and had written the menu so had to buy the right stuff - then Hubby got home said yes so I text yes to SisterM and emailed our free dates in February and March.

Next call was SisterM asking for dates as she was already in a travel agents in Lakeside and obviously couldn't get to her email. Well to cut a long and confusing story of many phonecalls (even while I'm helping O do a wee) it was all booked and paid for before I'd finished my cafe lunch (which was excellent).......we go in just 3 weeks time!!!!!!!!!!!!! My head is still spinning hahahaha

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