Tuesday, 28 April 2009

Mixed blessings...

In the early hours of Sundy morning my father-in-law passed away. Finally now may he rest in peace.

He had not had an easy life. He nursed and lost his first wife to cancer when Hubby was just 8 years old with a not much older brother. He raised the two boys on his own for the next 10 years. When I met Hubby father-in-law was married to his second wife but after moving from London to Suffolk for their retirement he had to nurse her with cancer and it was sad when she lost that battle and he was on his own again. For the last 19 years he lived with a partner who also loved going away on holidays as much as he did so put the sparkle and fun back into his life, but January this year he sadly lost her to cancer too...........how cruel is life eh? His cancer was quite advanced by then too so the last few months were not pleasant with his quality of life gone and just surviving day to day until the end. He reached 89 years old, what an achievement!

They are not a close or sentimental family, which I found a bit difficult to understand, but they all got on really well with each other and father-in-law was always there for us as a married couple with young children and would often come over to help Hubby with DIY projects, he was really good at plastering and we made good use of that fact.

Our children never felt pressured to go over and visit but wanted to and when they were old enough to drive or ride a motor bike they would visit their granddad and his partner when they could. When Hubby retired he often popped over to see them during the week. Of course as they got too old to come to our house I would feel guilty that I never went to see them as often as I felt I should, but the pressure was never from them for which I will always be grateful.

My main memory of a special father-in-law will always be our banter, he would criticise me and I would criticise him back, all done in fun, it was our way, a verbal hug from a man who found it hard to show his emotions.

We'll miss you dad xxx

No comments: