I'm in a blog bog.....

...no not my blog, can't be bogged down with this one as I don't update it often enough, but I'm getting a bit swamped with reading other blogs.

The first blog I was ever introduced to was my daughter's, then she guided me to some of the blogs of her friends, mainly after a big group gathering or holiday because her friends would post their own photos and highlights etc. It felt like being a fly on the wall of my daughter's life, isn't that every mother's dream? Of course the comments made on these posts are often by other of their friends that I don't know and a few click click clicks later and I find I've bookmarked and am regularly reading more blogs than I should healthily give my time to!

But how can I motivate myself to get off this laptop and not just quickly check on the worlds of those people I feel I've got to know. Those who give their own ideas for Home Educating their children I find interesting as my grandchildren are HE'd. Some writers of course are more interesting than others but they all offer some form of entertainment, either giving me recipes or crafts to try, insights to living in other parts of the world (just found a lovely writer in Israel), families who have bravely changed their lifestyles (emigrating or living in a camper van) or just by being so beautifully written!

Hey I'm middle aged and no longer working so with plenty of time to now explore an internet I never really had time for before, so what's the problem apart from my very under exercised body! Then the next stage in my internet education was to find out that all is not 'real'! OK I'm not totally gullible and realise that even I may slightly exaggerate when I describe an event so it reads better, however, during a discussion with my daughter it was explained to me that someone who is a close friend with my favourite blogger has confirmed that lots of it is fiction just to make a great story. Another person on my bookmarks who often amazed me as she is such a prolific blogger, it was then pointed out, that she would never have the time for her or her family to actually do all that her posts implied they do and be able to blog about it too! But why? Well the whole commercial side of the internet was explained how people can earn money blogging and linking and reviewing and of course promoting no end of external products and projects and of course how you need to promote your own blog/twitter/facebook/on line shop to increase the following, to increase the promotion and ultimately to increase the income! Makes the openness of people sharing their lives all sound a bit fake and sordid doesn't it?

So today I've had a look through my bookmarks and decided that actually I'm not going to delete any of them, does it really matter what is truth or fiction if I'm not required to act on what I'm reading. I love reading novels as much as biographies so the same must be true for blogs. I may read a blog where I know the writer is pouring out her deepest feelings wanting the page to carry some of her pain, this is therapy for that writer and if her readers send hugs and words of support that must be so helpful and not sordid at all.

So I'll keep reading and blogging and trying to motivate myself to look away and do something more active for a while. And to any readers of this blog I'd like to say I'm not clever enough to write fiction and have absolutely no want to earn money from this as it would mean a commitment I'm far too lazy to make, so what you read is 'real' but in the great scheme of things do you care!
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Coming home empty handed.....

Had to pop into town today as both Hubby and I had our two yearly appointment at Specsavers. Hubby didn't have any change to his prescription so he just paid for the eye test, but my right eye seems to have got a bit weaker so all tests done I moved onto choosing frames and decided to have one clear pair and one pair as sunglasses as my usual choice of 'reactions' are never quite good enough for driving etc. So upgraded verifocals + anti glare coating on the clear pair and polarized lenses on the sunglasses came to a very expensive bill even using their BOGOF. Nothing to show for it yet, have to go back in two weeks to collect.

As we were in town, rare for me, I said I wanted to look for some new bras......never easy as I've what Gok Wan would call 'big bangers' so very limited on styles that come in my size, plus I find underwired very uncomfortable making what's available even more limited. Well after two shops and in and out of changing rooms I gave up!

I couldn't even console myself with a new handbag as my favourite stall didn't have anything I liked, or maybe I was already too fed up to like anything.
So when there was no offer from Hubby to take me to lunch or even stop for a coffee we came home!
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You throw and I'll catch....

I'm always amazed by the contagiousness of mood. Happy people spread happiness to everyone around them and those that are sad make those close to them sad too. I would love to be thought of as the person who always looked for the positive, a glass half full sort of outlook on life, and a person that made people smile, I often smile at strangers in the street or joke with the supermarket cashier or someone sitting near me in a waiting room! However, I do find open shared sadness is also quite healing at certain times and totally supportive when hugging a sad friend or family member!

I'm also amazed at my own lack of control when confronted with anger, when someone is loud in their anger over an injustice, whether I find it justified or not, I often find myself getting angry at the angry person, probably for making me feel uncomfortable.

But actually, now I think about it, there is a mood I never catch and that's indifference! If a person can never show excitement about something about to happen, never show appreciation for the efforts people have gone to on their behalf, never to do anything that is just to make someone else feel special, then they make me both angry and sad.

We all have choices each time something has an effect on how we feel and I will get angry and sad but hopefully try to move on quickly and get back to happy. So please think carefully before throwing me your mood, because even though I'll definitely catch it I may also throw it back!
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Some hugs can't be remote...

Seems to me there are more and more natural disasters happening around the world - so sad for those involved and for us that are so far away and can only send sympathetic wishes and perhaps a donation if we can. However, when family members are suffering their own personal disasters then I just have to drive over and give them a hug!
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Breaking the silence...

Well I should have known that if I made public promises to do this and that to improve my life it would only end in silence, because I haven't done what I intended to do and was far too ashamed to admit it :o(

So it stopped me telling you about the books I've read, Gok Wan's autobiography which I really enjoyed but the pages were so full of spelling mistakes and typos that I was compelled to write a two page list to the publishers, of course I never heard back from them! Then there was the latest novel by Dawn French which was awful and actually put me off picking up another book for ages.
And I so wanted to mention the knitting I'm doing because I'm trying to be totally random and freehand with the design because R wanted me to paint more abstract which I find really hard and I've lots of wool to use up - see I could have got you all excited and forgotten to mention that it's only a scarf.
I would also have blogged about the great family get-together we had for christmas but two months late, postponed because I'd been ill when it had been planned for. So lovely to have a house full of family!
And I'm sure you would have liked to have read about my lovely week with O and R keeping me company last Sunday while Daughter took E for her first trampoline competition, thrilled she came 8th. Monday I'd have told you about O entertaining me and hubby for the best part of the day while Daughter took R and E to a drumming workshop. Tuesday was a day at the zoo for me with Daughter and Grandchildren and Wednesday O and I had fun at home so R and E could shop with their mum for special dresses for their dancing exam happening shortly!

But now you may never know what I've been doing unless I ignore that silly December post and break the silence.
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